Hand jobs are gross

Let's discuss this for a little.

I don't do them.  I don't understand them.  Its something that really, a guy can do better himself, so why waste my time?  Or expel extra energy?  They can be a doozy on the wrists too.  Very middle school, even college if you were a late bloomer, or lazy.  However, I have to wonder, what do you do in a situation when you aren't ready to use your mouth, and certainly don't want to take your pants off?  It gets awkward.  I hold my ground and continue to, but I don't know how it makes me look.  Now I really don't care so much about what a guy thinks about me in this way, but still, I get all confused.  Any man (hopefully) knows what he likes with his hand and can do it himself best, so why expect a girl to even go there?  Who still gives them?  Really?   


Date 3:  Mexican place I happen to like on the UES. Good pick by him

He was late again. It was busy season for him at work so I was
understanding. While waiting I ordered a drink at the bar and was talking to
the cute young bartender so that was a good time killer. I wonder what the bartender thought when old guy walked in and he saw that's who I was waiting for.

I had ordered a delicious watemelon margarita, old guy arrived right after it was made.  He asked if I paid for it yet and I said no.  He said good, and promptly ordered himself a drink and paid the bill.  So far so good. 

We sat and ordered a bunch of food: a variety of tacos, salad, chips and guacamole.  And a second round of drinks eventually.  The place was chosen bc the date was on a Monday night and old guy likes football, so he was watching the game while we ate and talked, but I didn't mind.  My divorce came up and he asked a lot of questions about it.  Since I am CLEARLY an open book, I answered everything.  He apologized about asking personal questions, but I of course didn't care.  He did ask a lot of questions though.  I was actually impressed since the last time a guy asked me about it, (rock climber) he got weird. I asked him if he had ever been engaged, because I know he was never married.  He said he had thought about it, but never got engaged.  I want to know more about all of this but didn't care enough at the time to ask.  I may eventually ask depending on where this goes.  

After dinner we walked back to his place.  He put on the rest of the game and we watched that.  Really he watched and I asked a ton of questions about god knows what.  He has a juicer and makes himself a juice every morning so I think I may have asked about that, but I don't really remember.  I should write these posts sooner after the dates!  

Eventually we started making out.  This time I did allow my shirt to come off.  I felt like a huge heifer but kept reminding myself that I am 33 and he's ancient so who cares.  I was very strict about my pants staying on.  He really wanted tot take them off but I said "no, no sex, no pants off, no no no."  He accepted this, however his pants did come off.  Quite a role reversal for me huh?!

At some point it got to be a weird situation where the next step from me would have been to give him a hand job, but I am strongly against them, and my mouth was not ready for that type of commitment yet, so it was weird.  I can't even tell you what happened next bc it was so weird, but still fun?  I guess?  I want to skip over this whole part bc there was a lot of awkwardness on my part, being so anti penis touching.  I just can't get into it.

After our 'good time' I realized he is a cuddler- not my thing.  I could only lay for about two minutes before I jumped up and ran to the bathroom.
He said I can stay over, and that I should. I said, no sir, I am going
home. I have to wash my hands some more.
I put on my shirt. He got dressed.
Again, he walked me outside and hailed me a cab. I suppose this would be the
equivalent of driving someone home, or walking them to their door.  I
am appreciative of the gesture. I'd feel real slutty if I hooked up
and then showed myself out.
In the cab ride home I immediately looked up Alec Baldwin and his age,
54 and his wife's age, 28. That made me feel a lot better because
that's a way bigger age difference and he's famous.

See...wayyy bigger age difference (yes this was picked deliberately bc of the grey beard)

I do not plan to text old guy. Not a thank you or anything. He can
pursue me. But he most likely thinks I'm a prude weirdo who has an
aversion to hand jobs. Which is true.


This is an amazing article that furthers my point about the hj  

(just click above to read it)