revisiting G

Sometimes I think I do things just so I have something to write about.  This is what I was thinking as I drove to my sisters house on her birthday.  She lives near G and I was making an impromptu trip to MI, so I let him know I would be in the neighborhood.  I texted him about my upcoming trip, he had his daughter for the weekend so said we would only be able to "hang out" after she went to bed.  So I knew where it was going.  Still, I was game.  Anything for a story.  I let him know what time I would be over while I waited for the plane to take off.   

Name: G

Date 3: His house (Who am I kidding, this was in no way a date.  Let's call it what it was, a booty call)

I didn't even or change my clothes or shower first.  I showered that morning, which I think is good enough and dressed knowing what my evening had in store.  After celebrating (briefly) with sister and friends I drove over for my booty call.  I want to note that I was oddly proud for arranging my first booty call.  G was just as fun as when I had first met him 2 weeks prior.  We talked on the couch for a while, he was clearly exhausted from his day with his daughter.  We got down to business pretty quickly.  Same as last time, nothing too noteworthy there.  

After, as I sat around in my thong- upgrade from full nudity, we ate some fresh fruit and talked some more.  I made it clear that this type of behavior was highly unusual for me.  I think he was a little put off by this.  I kept saying how I am not slutty and I don't do this type of thing.  He asked if I felt guilty about it.  Of course I didn't feel guilty, I initiated the whole thing, but I didn't want him to think it was typical.  I like to be wined and dined before I get naked.  It doesn't usually happen in this order for me, but I still would like it to!  I am well aware that I am sending the wrong message to these guys.  My bro-in-law did point out that girls who tell guys they are not sluts, usual are.  Funny thing is, while talking to G on the couch we had a whole conversation about this (super super SUPER) slutty girl who I used to know.  He did not know about this girl's history of sleeping with many men and he liked her, even though she has a bf now.  I don't think he liked learning of her past behavior.  Whatever.  I don't like her.  Leave it at that.  

Since this booty call I haven't heard from G.  This makes me think either 

a) he thinks I'm a total slut and is not into that

b) is ashamed of his performance

c) is not happy I dissed the girl he liked

It looks like I will not be making more booty calls to G.  Which is ok seeing as I don't live in MI, he has too much going on in his life, and he doesn't drink.  Which is a big part of my existence.  It wasn't going to go anywhere, but was fun for a short while.  

A new friend in Michigan

I have come to the realization that I like to take my clothes off. For

someone with so many body issues I guess it's kinda weird. But it

keeps happening, and I don’t really stop it. I  should though. Or

is it normal to do that?  I don't even know. I take them off pretty

quickly too...

As I was celibate for most of August, bc no men to be found, I was

shocked to meet someone cool THE SATURDAY BEFORE I LEFT!

Name: G

Age: 38

Met:

I was in downtown Detroit with my dad, his gf, his two friends and

their wives. That's how I roll. My sister texted me that she has a guy

for me to meet and to come see her. Well, I didn't have a car so that

was not possible.  Sister was with her bestie who knew G.  I love this

girl and checked to make sure she was not interested before I got any

further.  Sister assured me he was normal, and funny. I checked out

his fb and he looked 'aight so I gave her the go ahead.  He texted me

not long after. He was funny. Asked me to meet up over the weekend. We

set a coffee date the next day. 

Date 1: coffee, in Royal Oak.

 I drove to meet him bc there was a lot going on in RO that weekend

and it is an all around cooler place to meet than near me. There

wasn't even a discussion about this, bc it is a fact.

He was a gentleman before I even met him. I was driving there and he

called me to say he forgot about the parking situation, it might be

hard to find a spot. I had already secured a spot at my sister’s house

so I was set. But it was so nice of him to think about that.

I walked from her place. It took longer than I thought bc the maps app

makes things look waaaay closer than they really are. He was sitting

outside with what he described to me as "a long skateboard". I of

course knew it was a longboard (see date 1 with RC, that loser). G was

impressed.

G is tall, 6'3", has a good job, owns a house which he lives in,

alone, owns a nice tv, a car, sounds pretty good, right?  He has a bit

of baggage too though, far from perfect.

Coffee convo was great right away. He is funny, interesting, sarcastic

(very important for me). He even paid for my coffee. We were having a

good time. He asked if I was hungry, duh, yes, always. So we went to

the festival going on a block away.  He bought my ticket! I am easily

impressed.

We walked around and talked. He is divorced too.  We talked about what

it was like to get and be divorced, and dating. It was a very open and

honest conversation and I loved it. We had pulled pork sandwiches,

yum, he paid. Then smoothies (dairy free, we had already covered that

topic), he paid, again!  I didn't even need a wallet!  Anyways, all

was going swell. We walked around and talked a ton, I mean seriously

had a great time.  We walked back to his house. I attempted to go on

the longboard. I failed.

His house is really nice.  We sat and talked for a while, about

everything, including: Ryan Gosling, G's poor taste in music, his

daughter, yep (7 years old), our marriages, our ex's, travel, family,

food, Michigan.  

Then we made out.  After doing that for a while he said he wasn't sure

what to do next. He could (and wanted to)  invite me upstairs, but he

wasn’t that type of guy, I said I am trying not to be that type of girl

(lie).  He said I should come back to RO later to meet up. There was a

free concert at the festival. I wasn't sure how genuine his invite

was, but I had nothing else going on so I said I probably would. He

drove me back to my car bc it looked like a long walk when we looked

up how I could get back. I went home. He texted me that I should come

meet him later that night. That meant another shower, clean clothing.  Still, worth it.

I was going.

Date 2: new clothes= new date.

I met him near the concert, he had left bc it was way too crowded. We

went to a bar for a drink.  Sat there and after one drink decided it

was too loud so we left and went to another bar. He is still paying

for all of this btw. At second bar some peeps he knew starting coming

in and it might have been a scene. We left. 
We walked around and talked a bit. I told him about the young guys I

went on dates with, he told me about the girls he's dated. It was

really fun to talk about this with him. We walked back to his place.

He put on music. I asked if it was seduction music. And did he have

mood lighting too. He had dimmers, close enough.

Oh. We also talked about blogs and his ex has one, as does her

boyfriend. I don't think he's a fan of them. So that's good news for

me.

We started making out again. I stopped him from taking my pants off. I

decided I should not have sex again so quickly or easily.  He

respected that. During all of this we continued to talk about making

out with other people and that getting a disease was really scary. He

was tested, twice. I think he gets around.  I said that herpes was my

biggest fear, his is AIDS. I told him that's ridiculous, herpes is

much more prevalent and that he needs to be concerned about it. AIDS

is not on my radar, maybe it should be?

My pants did eventually come off.  However, we did not have sex (with

our privates).

After... I said I was going to sleep at my own house. He asked if I

was hungry, maybe pizza? I reiterated that yes, I am always hungry. It

is a constant in my life.  He drove us to get pizza, I ordered mine

with no cheese and it was delish. Yes, he paid!  While at the pizzeria

a bunch of skanky looking girls came in.  G said those types of girls

never talk to him. I said that if he was trying to avoid disease, then

it's probably a good thing because they most likely all had herpes. He

then said, "there's this one Jewish girl who dresses like that". I

knew exactly who he meant too. 

After pizza he drove me back to my car. I certainly did not predict my

day going that way when I woke up. What a surprise. The next day I did

hear from him. He asked me to come hang out again (um, booty call?). I

totally would have but it was my last night and I had to pack.  He

again complimented me on my awesomeness (interpret that however you'd

like).

I know G is not looking for anything serious and I am not really

either, at least not in MI, not yet. So it was perfect. I have someone

to hang out with while I am home and it's a good time. It's too bad we

didn't meet earlier in the month. But who knows how it would have

gone.  I will stay in touch with this one. It turns out some people DO

casually date in MI.  Yes!

I’m Still Here, Just Rounder

An Update From Michigan

It's Thursday evening and I just shampooed my hair with body wash,

after eating a corned beef sandwich with coleslaw and dressing, with a

side of seven layer cake, and a soda!  Things are going well here in

Michigan. I have taken my "hiatus" pretty seriously, by eating

everything in sight. I really am thinking it might be more fun than

dating. Anyways, I am sending out an update because I keep getting

asked.  Dating here has been a no go. No one wants to set me up

because I don't liiiiive here. Whatever, people don't causally date in

metro Detroit?  Lame.

Here's the status on my NY men:

Rock Climber

I don't know what to say about this dude. We were supposed to hang out

the Thursday and Friday that I was leaving. He got sick so couldnt see

me Thursday, and Friday came in around lunch. He drove in from his

parents place. (He was there on Thursday. He goes home a lot.) (red

flag)  I was really appreciative that he came in to see me before I

left. We had a nice lunch and he came back to my place to hang out

after.  No kissing or sex though bc he was sick. Somehow I still ended

up in my undies.  Weird I guess. (red flag?) I asked him if we would

talk while I was away, he said yeah, we can FaceTime.  ok. So he left.

 I left. I texted him the next day while home. Got short reply back.

This went on for a few days.  He was still sick for a while. I kept on

reaching out, asking what was up... He stopped responding August 14. I

just looked to be sure. Just stopped. Really, seriously. Fucked up. I

am upset- but not bc of why you may think. I am upset bc he asked me

to open up, and I did. I told him I liked him. I was clear. And then

he pulls that shit. Not cool. I don't think I would have married the

guy, so I will live. But it wasn't nice.  Also, he doesn't have a TV.

It's 2012. Get a television yo!

I guess I did know what to say about him.

Buddha

Score in the Buddha department. He is great. He stayed in touch all

summer. We texted and talked about the Olympics, concerts, music. He

is pretty awesome. I even sent him a picture of Northern Michigan, it

was so pretty. (I was not in it).   I am pleased with our

correspondence and hope to see Buddha again. Even as a friend, he is

cool.

A

Oh, A. He was doing so well and then a bomb fell on my lap

last night.  He texted me the day I left. I texted him a few weeks

ago, we wrote back and forth a bit. Earlier this week he asked me what

day I was coming back. I was thinking I would see him again. Then, I

found out he told (at least one person) allll about what happened on

our date. I hope you get me when I say he told EVERYTHING that

happened. Except of course that he didn't pay for me, but someone made

sure people knew about that. (Thanks girl!). He's like a girl. I can't

believe he told. I am pretty embarrassed and upset that he did that. I

now do not plan on seeing him again. I guess people who heard weren't

that phased by the information, but that's some private shit.

Seriously disappointed in him.

OkCupid

Yes, I still love it. Except that now the guys are asking to meet me

and I don't want to meet them. I just get bored and like to talk to

them through the okcupid website. My brother did tell me it was mean

to lead them on. So now I'm just not responding to them. They should

get the hint. It worked for RC with not responding to me. I’m trying it out.

That's my report. It's been a lazy summer of too much food (fudge,

peanut m&m's, peanut butter, and dairy free frozen chemicals to be

exact), too many 'sandwiches', and less aggressive workouts. General gluttony.

I did start running outside for real though and signed up for a race

in September. It's only 4 miles, but still. It's a big deal for me!

It may not be a big 'race' as much as it seems like an event where you

run 4 miles and then get free stuff (free stuff is probably my

favorite thing in the world, many of you are aware of this. I am

suuuch a Jew). My dad did point out that it's not really free bc I am

paying to enter the race, but it will feel free when I am there.

I spent a lot of time at the grocery stores here. They all give

amazing samples. I got it down to where I know where the best fruit

samples are, best veggie, best lunchtime. It's pretty ridiculous. I

was kinda bored. It does seem like the month flew by. It's amazing how

quickly I can put on weight. I need to get back to NY just so I have

pants that fit!

I'm looking forward to seeing everyone back in the city, and going out

drinking and walking home!  Such an amazing thing I will never take

for granted.  Also looking forward to not being able to afford food so

I can lose this gut and get back on the dating train.  Until then..

2 for 2

Thank god I am going home on Friday, because honestly, I need a break.

I am wiped out from the past two days. Today I am going to the beach

and am going to zone out. Totally.

Let me start by saying A is a good guy. A really really good guy. He

was honorable at the wedding and did not take advantage of me, or

steal any of my shit. He carried me into the room and put me into bed.

He said he was disappointed because he wanted to get it on. But

realized as soon as we left the wedding that it wasn't happening

because  I "ceased to function due to excessive alcohol consumption."

When he still wanted to come into the city to hang out I was totally

shocked. It takes a lot to scare this guy off. I know, because I put

him through the ringer.

The plan was for us to spend the day in NYC together. It was beautiful

weather and could have been a great day. He came in at 11, came up to

my place to use the bathroom and we sat on the couch and talked. I

asked him what types of embarrassing things I told him at the wedding,

I guess nothing too bad. We have a lot in common and he's super cool

and nice, and thinks I'm perfect (he said this, he's delusional) so I

liked him.  Not the same sparks as I felt with RC but still, A saw

me at my worst (not exact worst, but that's coming up) and still

wanted more.

We made out, because that's what I do.  It must be said that Abe has a

slammin bod. Like perfecto- abs and all. I commented on how impressed

I was at this.  He is kinda cocky and said that he did not know many

28 year old Jews with abs. I agreed, but that does make him seem a bit

overly confident. I told him this too.  After the make out session

with A's great body we got stoned and decided to get burgers at

shake shack.

This could have been the perfect afternoon, really my ideal day.

Unfortunately it goes downhill from here.

I ordered my burger and water and paid, for myself!  Then he ordered.

I was waiting for him thinking, "seriously?! You didn't pay for my $8

order, wtf!  No sex for you!  (ehhhh, no more sex for you)". Total

disbelief on my end. I had to at least get through the lunch though,

but I was pissed. Then, I started to not feel well. I knew I would

need A to hold me up so I had to suspend my feelings of being

pissed.  I started walking and told him that I didn't feel well, I was

going to pass out. I need to go sit outside on the bench. He was

pretty worried and helped me get to a bench, where I PASSED OUT. I

fainted on our date. A major pass out too. No dairy, this was from low

blood sugar I'm pretty sure.  I hadn't eaten yet that day and had an

eventful morning.

When I came to, there was a yenta on the phone with the ambulance. I

said no way am I getting in an ambulance.

1. I know that shit is expensive.

2.  Could it be any more embarrassing?

3.  I was stoned and would have to tell the ambulance guys that, plus

other personal information that I would rather not divulge on a first

date

The lady said "too late they already sent it." I would have just gotten

up and walked away so I wasn't there when the ambulance came, but I

couldn't walk so that wasn't an option. I turned to A and said I am

not getting in the ambulance and I will kill you if I have to. He said not

to worry. I told him he should probably run away and I won't blame

him. He said no, he would never run away from me. Weird thing to say,

but for some reason he was still in love. Like I said, delusional.

(remember, all of this and he didn't pay for the burger). I told him I

need some sugar and at that point our food was ready. He went to pick

it up, longest 5 minutes of my life.  I slowly ate the bun and tried

not to pass out or throw up. I still felt miserable.

Finally (half hour after pass out) the ambulance came. I hope I never

actually need one, because I would be dead by the time they got there.

We stayed on the bench and the ambulance people didn't get out of the

truck. After 10 minutes they drove away. Great service. I was in the

clear.

I said to A "you won't forget this one, huh". He at first acted like

it was nothing, then said, "yeah, you're right". I assured him I

wouldn't forget either.  I then told him that it was pretty impressive

that I blacked out both times we were together.  It really is pretty

ridiculous. My first impression wasn't bad enough that I had to pass

out on the kid the second time. And he still wanted more!!  I kept

giving him permission to leave and said I could call Feathers to get me

but he said no. He was staying.

Finally I could walk.  I was going to go home, shower, and eat a bag

of cookies. A was ok with this. I asked him what he knew about me,

besides that I pass out and drink too much (and sleep with guys a

little too easily.)  He said he knew I was divorced and that I was 32.

He asked about the divorce and I told him. I asked why he was still

interested. He said he still liked me despite all of that, oy. He has

no idea what he would be getting himself into. Although, he did handle

the pass out incredibly well, both times. Still, didn't pay for the

burger.

We got upstairs, I said I am taking a shower, he said he was staying.

I said you're fucking crazy, but ok.  After the shower I put on sweats and

sat on the couch with my bag of cookies and announced that I wasn't

leaving that spot for the rest of the day. He can feel free to go

enjoy the day. He didn't want to go. He wanted to sit with me but I

felt like shit, was still too mortified, and really did not want to

entertain or talk for the rest of the day. He finally agreed to leave.

(most guys would have run way before this, I know. I practically had

to force him to leave).

I immediately called Feathers to come over so I could cry to her about

my day. She came so fast she forgot het wallet. She's amazing.

A kept in touch for the rest of the day, even called me to hang out

again, because I am such a great host.  Alas, I am too busy and can't

see him until I get back in Sept. I think he understands, but who

knows bc he  is crazy. And, didn't pay for the burger. He is quite the

conundrum.

This is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me on a date

yet.  And hopefully will not be beat.

Later when RC asked abt my day I told him I passed out at shake

shack.  He called me on the phone right away to find out what happened,

which I liked. He thinks I was with a girlfriend when it happened. I

wonder what he would have done or what his reaction would have been if he was with me and I fainted. I think he would be ok and handle it well. I might ask him. He is very

interested in medical stuff and knows about many of my ailments. I

asked if he thinks I'm totally crazy for passing out and he said not

at all. So that's good.

I am looking forward to Thursday with him. It should be interesting to

see what happens since I am leaving.