And so it begins...

My friend suggested I blog about the dates I go on.  That is (was) a little public for me, so I am just writing them up in email form.  I may sound like a jerk by they way I act on dates, sorry for that.  I am just being honest, and telling you (and these guys) exactly how it is.  Maybe I will soften up eventually.  This is the first guy I went out with.  If I go out with a guy I actually like, I may not be so public about it, but I probably will be...  

Name: Tennis

Age: 28

Met: My friend K. Her husband plays tennis with him.

Date 1: Cafe Mila (a cafe where you walk up an order eggs, pay, and

wait for them to call your order)

He texts while I am on my way that he's sitting at a table with a bike helmet on top.

Already I'm thinking this is not so cool, what if he’s all sweaty?

We order, he says, "we pay for ourselves?" How do I respond to that, so I say sure. Not Cool.

We sit, eat, talk. It's a very easy conversation. He's only been in NY

for a year so he doesn't know much about the city. At this point I'm

not aware of how young he is.  He does talk about living with a

roommate but also says he's moving out. We did discuss his means of

transportation (bike) and that he rarely takes cabs. He also mentions

how he doesn't have a lot of money and asks how I afford to live in a

one bedroom on my own on the UWS. Red flag. Also, it made me pretty

proud that I can (hardly) afford to live like I do. We talk about

tennis and the US Open. Which is at the end of August. He asked me if I

would want to go to a match. I think it's pretty presumptuous of him

to look so far ahead. I told him that I'm in Michigan for August and I know all the big matches are in Sept.  I know he can't afford that, he didn't

even pay for my $4 eggs. Still, at the end he asked if I had fun and

would I want to do it again? I say yes. We hug goodbye.

As I reflected back on the date I thought, "maybe he thinks we are just

friends, I am okay with that.” I saw K, the one who set us up,

later in the week. I told her all about the date. She was appalled

that he didn't pay and said he thinks I’m pretty. Of course he does.

There go my hopes of us just being friends.  I had already set a

second date with him at this point and was dreading it.

Date 2: Set up by text message again, no phone contact. We were

meeting in Riverside Park at a place called pier 69. Another walk up

and order place, but more expensive because it's in the park.   I did not

dress up. Jeans and a tee shirt. I didn’t want him to get the wrong

idea. My angle was to try to turn him off so I didn’t have to be

awkward and say I don’t want to see him again.  I meet him and he's on

a bench with two beers.  Light and dark. I picked the light, but I

know that's the one he wanted. Oh well. We talked for a little, he

said I should be watching the sunset- but then I wouldn't be facing

him, plus it was cloudy. I said "it's cloudy, I'll see it another

time". He must think I'm a real jerk. My plan was in motion.  During the conversation I discovered that while he is in fact moving out of his roommate situation, his new place would have 3 roommates.  This is not good for me.  I like privacy.

He finally asks if I'm hungry -of course I am.  He doesn't know

any places around us to eat.

1.  Look that shit up before you ask someone out on a date

2.  They serve food at the place we were sitting. I point that fact

out and we stay to eat in the park.

We went up to order, he ordered first and paid for himself. Um, ok. I

ordered and paid for myself. Second date mind you, and I paid for

myself both times. We sat down to eat (He ordered spaghetti.  It was

served on a plastic plate, it was a strange order from a park cafe. I

just think this adds to the story, because it's weird).  He asks about my

family. I tell him about my younger sister, who is turning 30, knowing

at this point he is 28. I also talked about my brother in college and

how life is tough after college, with bills and responsibility and jobs

and all. He disagreed and said how life after college is great. I

talked about my step brother who may or may not be in prison, and my

parents who are divorced. He asked if it was amicable. I said noooo,

not at all. I talked about how living in New York City can be really

exhausting, especially the winter. He again disagreed. I said, "give it

9 more years, this winter was nothing."  At this point I think, hope, pray

that he is fading and I am impressed at how well I was doing with turning

him off. I asked where the bathroom was- he pointed it out. I said

"oooh, it's a fancy outhouse, it used to be just a plain outhouse. How

nice!” He said, "it's real facilities!"  Then I knew I did my job!  When

I came out I asked if he rode his bike again, or course he did!  He

Said, "so this was fun, right?  Would you want to do it again?"  I said

"iiiii don’t know.”  He said “ok bye,” hugged me and said take care.

I was so happy!  I felt a little bad at the method I took but it was

effective and I was totally honest about everything I said. It was

just a lot for the young guy to take.

I have very little experience dating, I think he has less.  So much for the free meals.,..